The “Why” Behind the Words

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This post is supposed to be about why I wrote my Pitch Wars novel*.  Which requires I have some sort of answer about why I wrote my Pitch Wars novel.  And it can’t be my instinctive answer, which is “Because I did.”  It has to be a real answer.

This is going to require some thought – and if I have to suffer through a bout of thinking, then you do too.

So.

Why write CLIFF WITH NO EDGE?  Why write about an awesome inventor chick who can manipulate both machinery and magic?  Why write about the dark place her poor (but well-intentioned) choices took her, and her struggle to escape?  Or about a city cut into a dead volcano and plagued by a predatory forest?

“Because that’s freaking awesome” is not a good enough answer.  Other people think about awesome stuff without writing a book.  But I’m going to save the entertainment factor as part of the answer, because I wouldn’t have bothered finishing the thing if I hadn’t thought it was awesome.

OK, new approach…

Why write a book at all?  For that matter, why didn’t I stop after the first one?  Why go through all the critiques and revisions and rejections when I’m perfectly aware that there’s a strong possibility the only people who read my book will be my critique group and my dad?  Why write at all?

My adorable new kitten Atlas, who crawled out from under a loading dock when his eyes were barely open.  I spent most of September hand-feeding him.  He is now fat and good at scampering!

My adorable new kitten Atlas, who crawled out from under a loading dock when his eyes were barely open. I spent most of September hand-feeding him. He is now fat and good at scampering!

I could just play with my chinchillas and new kitten, watching Sherlock over and over.  It’s not like I sit around all day and need to write to feel productive.  I have a day job I’m passionate about, one I don’t foresee giving up even if the writing thing works out exceedingly well.  There are other things I could do that bring me joy that also come with a lot less of the pain (see “critiques and revisions and rejections”).

Good point, subconscious.

The easy answer is that I can’t not.  I write because I do.  Discussion over!  But because it’s the easy answer, it’s also inaccurate.  I’ve gone without writing before, for days, months, even a couple fallow years between college and the beginning of my wildlife rehabilitation career.  But so far, I always come back to it.

Other people’s reasons don’t fit.  I don’t have tragic and/or scarring life experiences I work out and share with others through writing.  My stories aren’t committed to advancing a particular agenda, though of course they tend to reflect my beliefs about the world at some level.  Writing is not my only chance at a happy career.  Sometimes I experience a thrill when I read words that are set in a particularly pleasing order, but I’m not chasing a love of the words themselves.

I guess the truth is that, like many writers, I get something from the act of writing.  Something addictive.  Even when it’s hard and frustrating it’s still worthwhile, but the why is intangible to me.  The book “The Midnight Disease” talks about brain chemistry, psychology, and writing, and turns out there may be some very good brain-chemistry reasons writers write.  Maybe that’s the whole of it.

But I don’t think so.  What I get out of the process itself is only another piece of the puzzle, or else I wouldn’t worry about showing my work to other people.  Thus far, we’ve only talked about me – and that’s terribly rude.

In my opinion, a story is incomplete until it is heard.  Readers close the loop the writer initiates.

I’m a reader too, have been since a very young age.  That feeling of immersion, when I sink so deeply into a world that I feel like I’m walking through fog as I feed the cat or brush my teeth, is one of the most precious parts of the reading experience for me.  And then when you finish a book that resonated with you – you’re left grasping for more, feeling like you’ve come so far and lived so long, knowing that somehow the entire world shifted while you were reading and you’re not sure you know exactly how yet…  Incredible.  It’s a kind of binding, that level of communication – beautiful, and deeply human.

Another gratuitous picture of Atlas.

Another gratuitous picture of Atlas.

I want to do that for people.  In order to do that, I have to write books.  I have to try my hardest every time, and put something of myself into each one.  And that, I think, is why I wrote CLIFF WITH NO EDGE.

If you’d like to read about why other Pitch War mentees and alternates wrote their Pitch War submissions, click on the links at the bottom of this post.  I’ve read some of them already, and there are some fantastic stories.  I promise you won’t be disappointed!


*In case you missed it, I was chosen as Whitney Fletcher’s alternate mentee for a contest called Pitch Wars back in September.  I am extremely grateful for Whitney’s help refining my query, writing my short pitch, and editing my novel’s early chapters.  He has been awesome to work with, and without his insight I wouldn’t be nearly as excited and hopeful as I start pitching CLIFF WITH NO EDGE directly to agents this month.  If you have a novel at or nearing the query stage, I cannot recommend Brenda Drake’s contests (including Pitch Wars) strongly enough.  Brenda is so supportive and giving, and her contests are focused on giving fledgling writers that extra push to improve and grow (as opposed to some other contests, which can be a bit… unethical).  Anyway, a huge thanks to both Whitney and Brenda for this opportunity!!


A Long-Awaited Announcement

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I’ve made a story sale!

Two actually.

If you follow me on social media, you may have already heard the news – a while back I made my first story sale to Andromeda Spaceways Inflight Magazine.  My science fiction story “First Strike” will be appearing in Issue #60 – and I’m also the subject of a new author spotlight, so y’all can read a little essay about the history of this story.  It’s a special one for me, not just because it sold first, but because… well, you’ll just have to read the essay!

You’ll also be able to read my science fiction short story “The Long, Slow War” in Bastion Science Fiction Magazine this September.

The good news just keeps on rolling, as I’ve finished the latest version of Cliff with No Edge!  A small fleet of readers are looking it over as we speak, and I’ll be spending the month of September on the final tweak and polish.  The plan is to have it out and circulating among my carefully selected agents by October.

In the meantime, I’m trucking along and trying not to obsess.  There’s still Book Two to work on and some new short stories that need some fiddling.  So I’ll get back to it, and let you all get back to your (hopefully wonderful) weekends!

Evolution of a Discovery Writer’s Story

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Discovery Writer, Gardener, Pantser… Whatever you decide to call us, I fall pretty firmly into the camp of writers who don’t plan their stories before they start writing them.  Sure, there’s some mental “steeping” required before I can jump in the deep end, but that’s pretty mystical, even to me.  And in my quest to better my fiction, I’ve learned to ask certain structural questions early on (at the moment, I’m a fan of Dan Well’s 7-Point Story Structure).  But it’s always a bit of a struggle for me, and I’m much more comfortable imposing structure after I’ve written the bones of the story.  Too much too early generally results in an unfinished story.

Since I don’t think things through beforehand, I end up doing a lot by instinct and only assessing the “why” after the fact.  In the moment, I only know it feels wrong.  That means I have to be willing to change my story, sometimes drastically, based on gut feeling alone.

I know a lot of writers who get very attached to what they have written, to the point that any change is painful.  I’ve always had a bit of trouble understanding that point of view – much more painful, in my experience, to know there’s something wrong without knowing how to fix it.  Changing things is the easy part; deciding what to change and how – that’s where things get dicey.

This week, I experienced a particularly vivid example of this.  I thought I’d share, on the off chance it is helpful or interesting to others.

It all began at a write-in I had with my new California writing buddies.  We were using some of my many (and sadly under-used) story prompt tools.  First up, Story Cubes, and I had to put together three images off the dice and use them to start a story.  I got a padlock, arrows pointing in different directions, and a teepee.  Here’s what I came up with in the following fifteen minutes (please have pity on me and overlook any poor quality in the following samples, I didn’t want spend time editing scenelets I’m not going to use):

They left me, tied to a stake and blindfolded.

I stood there while they packed up the tents and loaded the horses.  There were no words loud enough to hear, only mutters as dry as the approaching winds.  They passed by me as they left, I know by the spittle drying on my body.

I think the heat on my skin is from the sun, but I am afraid it is the warning of the winds.

I twist my body from side to side, work my wrists until they are so raw the pain doesn’t fade.  The wood scrapes across my back, but I think that it moves a little.  Or perhaps I only wish it moves.

My fingers swell.  My sweat rolls off me, it feels like ants crawling on my skin.  It may be ants, climbing me to take of my moisture, to eat of my salt before taking my flesh.

When the air begins to move around me, I know my time has passed.  Even sweat does not stand against such heat, and my skin is dry, dry, dry.  My lips are gritty with the carried dust, and I sag against my bonds.

The winds come.  First eddies of searing air around my feet, blistering.  Then waves beating against me, and then a cyclone, ripping the flesh from my body in hair-thin strips as the infinitesimal motes of dust tear through me.

I have no water in my body with which to weep, so my painful sobs are dry.

When the rope releases and I fall forward, at first I think it is the storm which has worn the rope through.  I am glad to die free, at least.  But I would rather not remove the blindfold, or expose more of myself to the ripping wind.

“Geroff yer arse!” A man screams, and his hand closes around my arm and yanks me upright.

This is not the vocabulary of the wind demons who drag sinners to hell.  And it is definitely not the words of the Sheltering Mother.

I get off my arse.

Not bad, but I have no idea where this is going.  Perhaps I’ll figure that out later.  That’s OK though, because we’re moving on to another prompt.  This one out of a book.  “Start a story with the following line: What I’m saying now is a lie.”

What I’m saying now is a lie.

I was never tied to a stake and left behind to die in a dust storm.  The skin never flew from my bones like moths from an old sweater.  I never breathed air so thick it might have been earth.

And that was certainly not when I met my husband.

No, my husband was given to me by my grandmother, who made the match.  He drank with my father, and painted the barn for my mother.  My husband and I have always lived in a house built of plaster and lathe.

He is certainly not kin of the wind-demons.

But since I am lying to you anyway, I will tell you what I want to tell you.

When I was young, I caught lizards with a boy who had hair the color of the noon sun.  We played in the mesquite roughs, where the branches twist like snakes striking.  We overturned rocks to find the scorpions and tarantulas and centipedes underneath.  We lay and shivered on the bristly stiff grass at dusk and watched the bats flutter overhead.  He fed me leaf-ladles of dust and twigs and told me it was soup.  I scrubbed river mud in his hair and told him it was a potion to make him tall and wise.

I saw the sun-haired boy for the last time the day Mama and Gran brought me into the house to tame my wildness.  They put me into the bedroom and tied my window-shutters closed with strips of muslin.  They put heavy rocks in front of the door, twice as big as I was.

They tell me it took twelve days for me to quiet.  Six days without food and another six days without water (they had been pouring water through a hole in the wall).  And when they finally dared open the door, I was a girl and my hair was antelope-brown.  They will not tell me what color it was before that, but I like to think it was dark like a moonless night.  Or perhaps black like the shiny body of a widow-making spider.

I ate bread soaked with water and let them wash my body with water and lye-soap.  Mama says they washed the mesquite dust away and found me.  Gran says they combed my hair with a dry thistle, and shook loose the demons that had lodged there.  Papa says I was a pretty little girl after I got cleaned up.  Gramps says I was always pretty.

From that day, they kept me inside the house of plaster and lathe, and taught me things I would need to know.

I learned to spin, weave, and sew by making my new clothes with Gran.  When she was not looking, I would skew the weft or knot the thread to create a roughness, and I would run my finger over it to feel the bark again.  My mother taught me to cook, and I remember leaning close to the fire to breathe its heat into my lungs, so like the summer sun in the roughs.  They did not let me help boil the soap or gather the eggs.  They did not take me across town to worship the Sheltering Mother on Firstdays.  But I was allowed to beat the rugs on the stoop if one of them stood with me.

All right!  I like that.  I spent the rest of the night moving this particular story forward.  But later, when I came back to it at home, especially when I started to look at the ending, I realized it still wasn’t right.  I used all sorts of visual details, but it’s still all summary, no scene.  Everything is distant, and the voice just didn’t feel quite right for this particular character.  Plus, the start is gimmicky, and probably needs to be cut.

So, perhaps back to close first person?

I do not remember anything before Gran opened the door to my bedroom.  All was darkness and wind, and then that iron latch rattled.  A little pale light streamed into the room, framing three bodies in the doorway.  Then I could see that it was not dark, that light seeped through the cracks between the closed shutters and through several hand-sized holes in the walls.

Gran shuffled toward me over the uneven wood-slat floor, nudging chunks of plaster and torn strips of lathe out of her way with her silver-fitted cane.  I looked down, the only escape left to me now that my body would not move.

She reached me and cleared the floor in front of me.  Then she knelt, awkward and with many popping joints.  She reached forward and brushed my hair out of my face, dislodging a cloud of plaster dust and a rain of wood sticks.  She lifted my chin with her cool, paper-dry hand and studied my face with a gaze full of intent.  Then she held a tin canteen out to me, and my tongue cracked for want of water.

I reached for it, but stopped.  My fingers were more splinter than skin, prickly like dried cactus.

Gran tsked and lifted the canteen to my lips herself.  I drank as much as she would let me, messily, water sliding out of the corners of my lips and down my throat.  She took the canteen away too soon, and I licked desperately at the moisture my tongue could reach, heedless of the taste of dirt and plaster.

Ugh. No.  I feel like I lost the mood and tone I liked so much in the last iteration.  Plus, this particular point of view is going to make it tough later on, especially since Gran’s intentions are so important to the story.  And the voice still isn’t right.  The girl sounds far too normal.

After a little pondering, I decided to try an omniscient point of view.  Maybe I could have some scenes, recapture a bit of tall tale tone, and depict the girl as properly mysterious.  Maybe.  I usually don’t like reading or writing omniscient, but it can be done.  It’s just a question of whether I can pull it off.

After twelve days, Granny Higby opened the door.  No one can say what was in there before that prairie sage fell to the floor and that iron latch rattled.  But afterward, there was only a girl.

They say the room was so shambled they didn’t see the girl at first among the chunks of lathe and plaster.  They say the floor rolled like the foothills, with some slats bowed upward and some bent down.  They say every surface – walls, floor, ceiling; everything except the door and the closed shutters –  bore deep rents, as if from a panther’s claws.  But even with all that dust, they say it still smelled of hot grass under sun-bleached skies.  Like heat-lightning and dust devils.

Granny Higby went in with no hesitation.  She went slow, using her iron-topped cane to knock the debris out of her path.  Higby Senior watched from the doorway next to his daughter-in-law, who covered her face with her apron rather than see Granny torn apart.

But the girl just sat there on the slatted wood floor in the center of the room, hair gray with plaster dust and hands more splinter than skin.  Like a dead cactus – that bad.  She kept her eyes lowered to the floor, as was proper for a young lady.  But the very first thing Granny did was tilt that girl’s chin up with her chill, papery old hands and look into her eyes.

What Granny saw must have pleased her, because the very next thing she did was pull her tin flask.  “Take it child.  You must be powerful thirsty,” she said.  Ma and Senior didn’t even see the flask change hands, but there it was, sucked empty and dropped on the floor.  The clatter of it shocked Ma back behind her apron.

“Now, now,” Granny said sternly.  “Pick that up for me, dear, and hand it back next time.  My bones are too weathered to be chasing my things about on the floor.”

The gall of that shocked Ma into looking, despite the danger of any manner of blood and guts.  Her knuckles were white to match the fabric she clutched so tightly, but she watched as the girl picked up the flask and handed it back to Granny, meek as anything.  That’s when Ma started to see the potential Granny had been telling her about for twelve days.  She hadn’t been able to hear the truth beyond the hair-prickling screeches and bone-shattering crashes, but she caught an echo of it just then.

So that’s the version I’m working on now, and I’m liking it so far.  We’ll see how it works for the full story and what others think.  Who knows, I might end up back at one of the other versions.  As my first-ever intentional attempt at omniscient, I’m sure I’ll end up going through a pretty hefty revision.  But at the moment, it feels right, and the words are flowing.

An Overdue Update

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Well, howdy!

It has been quite some time since I’ve given you all an update! Partially this is because I’ve been a slacker. But really, I’ve been juggling several projects, so maybe I won’t beat myself up too badly for the hiatus. Hopefully once I tell you a bit about what I’ve been up to, you’ll forgive me as well.

First off, an update on King’s Mark. I have chosen a release date! King’s Mark will be available at an e-bookstore near you on May 15th, 2013. I’ve finished my line-edit, and am letting the very last scene addition mellow before its final polish. In short, King’s Mark will be the absolute best I can make it, and I’ll be ready to share it with you all in less than a month!

Cliff With No Edge has also had a good couple of months. I’m about 1/3 of the way through my cleaned draft, and I’ve begun feeding it through the Wordslingers for my first round of feedback. Since we only meet every other week, it will take a couple months to go through them, but I expect to have Cliff in the hands of my beta readers by late summer. In addition, I took my first few chapters to Norwescon, and got some really encouraging feedback while I was there – cannot tell you how exciting that was 🙂

And last, I’ve cleaned up three short stories over the last 3 months, which is a lot (for me). They are now traipsing from magazine to magazine, trying to find a home. At least one of them has made it through the first round of readers – though it still has 2 more levels to get through before I’d get an actual acceptance.

I don’t know if this sounds like a lot or not… I know in reality it is. A lot of the credit goes to a tracking program I heard about from I Should Be Writing, a podcast by Mur Lafferty. It is called the “Magic Spreadsheet,” and it is truly magical to those of us who are motivated by pretend points. Since I started using the spreadsheet in late January, I’ve racked up approximately 80,000 words, either new or edited. To give you some context, in 2012, I wrote just over 80,000 words total. So I’m pretty proud of that.

Of course, amidst all this writing, real life continues.  Spring has sprung, prompting a return to five 8-hour workdays and all the baby squirrels I can feed. I’ve had family visits, and trainings, and trial SCUBA courses, and the flu.

So I promise, I’ve been working hard for you over these past few months – don’t let the lack of blog entries deceive you!

The Next Big Thing – Wild Literati Style

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I am honored to have been asked to participate in “The Next Big Thing” blog hop by the gifted Andrew Williams.  Andrew has a keen sense of story and an admirable ability to make every word count – not to mention a sharp wit.  You can find his work in anthologies including Tales of Lost CivilizationsAfter Death, and Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader: Flush Fiction.

I am particularly thrilled to have been tagged beside two equally impressive up-and-comers – the dynamite Luna Lindsey and masterful Mark Andrew Edwards.
Luna’s characters seem to have lives beyond the words on the page, and she weaves themes and moods together to make her stories bigger than the sum of their parts.  As an independent author, she has self-published a string of stories, novels, and a novella in her faerie urban fantasy series, Dreams by Streetlight.   She also has stories featured in the Journal of Unlikely Entomology and Penumbra.  
Mark’s work is fun, above all else – whether showcasing hard-edged gunmen, conflicted teens, or absurd scientists.  He keeps the action moving and the thrills coming.  Nothing he writes is ever EVER boring.  Like me, Mark is waiting for that first big break into the publishing world, but when it comes, it’s going to be big.
So I’ve got quite a lot to live up to!
And here’s the part where you get to read a little about what I’m currently working on.  At the end, I’ll point you toward my victims, the next to be tagged as the Next Big Thing.
What is the working title of your next book?
A Cliff with No Edge, the first in the Thieves of Fate trilogy.
Where did the idea come from for the book?
It’s always hard to trace an idea to its source, especially when you’re talking about a big project like a novel!  There are so many moving parts and the brain is a weird melting pot.  But here are a few sources I’m aware of:
The setting in Cliff is a wilder, grittier, hopefully more realistic/detailed version of what we briefly see in the anime Jyu-Oh-Sei, because while I watched the show, I was always wishing they’d spend more time on the world or interacting with it.  And then my biology degree was off and running, and things got a little out of hand.
The main conflict of the book, a broken relationship between corrupt father and daughter, developed from an otherwise completely useless and ridiculous dream.  The skewed semi-industrial-age technology grew from worldbuilding conversations I had with my dad, and is a kind of tribute to him and the things he taught me to wonder about.
What genre does your book fall under?
Fantasy.  I can’t really get more specific, except that it has elements of mystery, spy thriller, and sword-and-sorcery.
What actors would you choose to play the part of your characters in a movie rendition?
I am terrible at actors.  Really really terrible.  I know the names of like two of them.  People who attend trivia nights with me despair at my complete obliviousness.  Therefore, since my cursory image search did not result in people who look like my imagination, I had to abandon this question as impossible to answer.
Will your book be self-published or represented by an agency?
I hope to gain representation, but I’m not going to shut any doors at this point.
How long did it take you to write the first draft of the manuscript?
Since it isn’t quite done, I can’t say for sure.  But if everything goes as planned, it will be done this month, bringing the grand total up to 8 months.
What other books would you compare this story to within your genre?
Golly gee… this question always seems so hard because it’s hard to judge your own work accurately, and every writer is so different.  But to give it a shot…
  • Zoo City by Lauren Beukes, for the mystery elements and female protagonist
  • The Way of the Shadows by Brent Weeks, for a character that lives in the corrupt parts of society and might be considered irredeemable, but is somehow still looking for redemption
  • China Mieville’s Perdido Street Station, for the odd technology levels and its interaction with magic  
  • And The Seventh Tower series by Garth Nix, a little for setting but mostly because I really like Garth Nix and want to be compared to him.  So there.
Who or what inspired you to write this book?
Like the ideas themselves, inspiration is a slippery concept.  I write because I’ve always written, and because it is fun.  I wrote this because I finished my previous project and got excited about the idea.  Selfish, I know, but that’s the honest truth!
What else about the book might pique a reader’s interest?
Family drama, hidden motives, clever uses of little magics.  Betrayal, sacrifice, mysterious strangers.  Dangerous plants, glass blowing, turbines, the laws of chemistry and physics as weapons.  What’s there not to love?
Who’s next?
And now to the more exciting part of the post – where I point out a few emerging writers.  I’ve read work by every single one of these authors, and they’re all people I admire and enjoy reading.  You really ought to keep your eye on them!
Jarod K. Anderson – who has an uncanny sense of pace and tension, and always manages to pull me into the story and forget I’m supposed to be critiquing
Jean Davis – who balances interesting characters and intricate world-building, and lays out plots that keep me guessing
And although they won’t be continuing the chain-letter nature of this blog hop (either because they’ve already been tagged, or because they don’t have a blog), I can’t miss out on the chance to point you toward the other incredibly talented members of my writing group, the Cloud City Wordslingers: Andrew Rosenberg, Shannon Peavey, Meg Peavey, H. E. Roulo, Mila Webb, Folly Blaine, and J. Boswell.